I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize