You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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