She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize