Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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