i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
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We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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