Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He shit in the fireplace
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize