yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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