i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize