If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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