Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize