the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize