All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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