Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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