she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
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I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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