Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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