I think my vagina is haunted
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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