the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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