hotel room ftw
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize