fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
false alarm, still single
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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