It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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