They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No stitches, just platelets and will power
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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