I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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