I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize