Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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