Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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