This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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