is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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