remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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