it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
that is very illegal...i love you.
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