Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
someone owes me an orgasm
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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