never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize