Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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