So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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