You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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