I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize