i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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