Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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