Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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