The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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