its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize