He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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