i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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