I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize