We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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