true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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