Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize