I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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