It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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