So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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