Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
its not stalking. its research.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize