i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize