The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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